Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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