2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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