so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
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pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
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Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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