Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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