I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize