Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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