u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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