Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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