So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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