Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So apparently I’m into choking now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
