If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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