you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
