I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
