this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
BRING THE BAGELS
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
