No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
