if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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