I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
