If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
