I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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