i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
