He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hippo gnu deer
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
