did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
