I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
