Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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