I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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