I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell