I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.