My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?