Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.