I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
