I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
