who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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