just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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