So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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