oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
