You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
