Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This baby is an asshole
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
