i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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