people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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