I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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