And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I enjoy the company of your penis
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize