I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
