I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
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It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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