it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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