Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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