I must be too annoying 4 u.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
