thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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