I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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