did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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