You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
