she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
