You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
