Apparently you make a good broom.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
