Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize