Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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