great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
