He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
