I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
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Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
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He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just puked most of my soul out..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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