oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
