Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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