Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
