big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
