He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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