oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize