This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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